Commentary

July 29th, 2009 | by admin
Posted In: blog

Lately, people have been talking about how much they like commentary on the comic strips they read. Really? How well would that would go for Haiku Ewe? Well, I can tell you how it goes every single day, step by step:

  1. Haha! That’s funny!
  2. Wait, it’s five-seven-five, right? (proceed to count out with fingers)
  3. Wait, did I mess up? I’d better count again. (proceed to count out with fingers)
  4. Hm. It’s not very funny after all.
  5. How am I going to draw this? (start sketch)
  6. Ick. That’s terrible. (erase all) (sketch again)
  7. Well, that’s probably as good as it’s gonna get.
  8. Man, [insert cartoonist whose work I studied that day] is so much better than I am. Why can’t my drawings look more like that?
  9. (Close eyes. Deep breath.) This is for fun. This is for fun. This is for fun.
  10. [ring ring] Oh, a phone call from a friend who went to Harvard medical school and is now a stable and successful ophthalmologist which I had to Google to even figure out how to spell.
  11. Oh look, an email from my friend who has a job so smart that I only understand it involves travel and computers. She has a mortgage and savings. I’ve always wanted to be a VP of something at a big bank. I want to think normal things and say normal things and feel normal things. And I want to have a closet full of suits. When people ask what I do, I could say “I’m a VP of something at a big bank!” And they’d be impressed and oooh and ahhh.
  12. I stilllll have not finished this strip.
  13. Mmmm, tea sounds good. (put pot of water on stove)
  14. Maybe a snack too. (grab fruit and proceed to nibble unless strawberries which I would now be washing and carefully cutting the green part off of)
  15. Did anyone comment on today’s strip? (visit strip on gocomics.com and read comments – start thinking about how these kind people have no idea that I’m a sham and wonder why they even like the drivel I post)
  16. Did anyone email me while I was up? (back to gmail)
  17. Oh look, the President emailed me. Again. About healthcare reform.
  18. Okay. Back to work.
  19. Wait, it’s five-seven-five, right? (proceed to count out with fingers)
  20. I wish I was funnier, could draw better and had a better sense of color and shading.
  21. I wish I could draw a decent tree. I could have learned how to draw a tree if that creepy jerk art teacher didn’t make fun of me in college. I missed my shot. Now, I’m tree-challenged. He was a jerk. So was that mean girl who told me I had monkey feet. I’m glad I told her she had a monkey face.
  22. Focus. Draw and focus.
  23. Wait, it’s five-seven-five, right? (proceed to count out with fingers)
  24. Do I take too long to draw my strips? Should I spend more time drawing them?
  25. I wish I were Haiku Ewe. That seems like a nice life.
  26. Wait, it’s five-seven-five, right? (proceed to count out with fingers)
  27. Okay. I guess I’m done. Saaavvveeee. (recheck naming convention 600 times)
  28. Wait, it’s five-seven-five, right? (proceed to count out with fingers)
  29. Wait, it’s five-seven-five, right? (proceed to count out with fingers)
  30. Wait, it’s five-seven-five, right? (proceed to count out with fingers)
  31. Wait, it’s five-seven-five, right? (proceed to count out with fingers)
  32. Wait, it’s five-seven-five, right? (proceed to count out with fingers)
  33. Okay done. Time to start all over.
  34. Wait, it’s five-seven-five, right? (proceed to count out with fingers)